I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
i believe in u and ur pee
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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