but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Sorry my hands just texted you
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
