Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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