Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
Randomize
