My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
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Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
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