If that was your dad, he is hot
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
