I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
