hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize