it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
