I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
