nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize