I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
