Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Barsexuality is the new black.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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