I am spending my child support on dildos
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm having to shit out rocks
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