Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Randomize