Taylor Swift is so right about you.
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
