Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
