whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
