I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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