Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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