two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
