You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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