Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
