More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
