are you still at the devil's house?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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