she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
