best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
