I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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