Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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