i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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