come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
He better not be in your backpack
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The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
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i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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