just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
How naked do you want me to be?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
