I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
