You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
