Princesses don't give blow jobs
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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