I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I looked at my own cervix.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
