Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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