How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
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