wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize