Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
