An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
