I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
