Rock
Scissors
Fuck
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
