I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
