So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
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