i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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