I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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