Yo dont text me then not text me
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
