VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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