ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
