ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
