you turned your livingroom into a bong?
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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