CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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