Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Randomize
