May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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