What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
